The pants I wear

A little back story about me... born and raised in Florence, KY. Two parents, one sister, one brother- both older. I was always the overachiever: good grades, lots of trophies. The 'popular' kids considered me a dork, the 'dorks' considered me popular. I spent most of my youth going to school, twirling baton, dancing, running cross country, and staying out of trouble. I could have gone away to college, but instead, I chose to stay at home (lame, right?) and go to Thomas More College. For me, college was a chance to start over and be whoever I wanted to be. I wanted to be 'cool.' Over the summer, my boobs grew from a barely there 32A to a gigantic 32D. (i blame the years of stunted growth and extreme activity on this late development) This is the time in my life when I started wearing my sexy pants. I wanted everyone to acknowledge my slim 5'5, 115lb frame, and these huge knockers! I was so proud. Then reality set in. After too many long nights and hangovers I eventually stopped going to class. I lasted a little less than 2 years at Thomas More before calling it quits. I briefly enrolled at Northern KY University, but that was a flop too. I had no idea what or who I wanted to be when I grew up. I moved out of my parents house and started working full-time. Say hello to my big girl pants. It wasn't long before I was engaged to my sexy Marine Corps boyfriend and getting married. I put on my wife pants on November 26, 2005. We moved to the North Carolina coast and started our life. I should note: I was still a slim and sexy 118lbs when I got married. By the time we returned from the honeymoon I was at 125lbs. On November 7, 2006 we welcomed our first baby girl, Bailey Rae, and I found my new identity in my mom pants (not to be confused with the dreaded 'mom jeans'). During the pregnancy I had a lot of problems, complications, and sickness. I gained 70lbs. Try not to shreik too loudly. I am embarrased to admit it. It didn't end there though. I had an emergency C-section, almost lost Bailey, and lost way too much blood myself.  The recovery was long and tough, but I came through it with a perfect little girl! A few month after Bailey was born I was still 170lbs or more. I was terrifiied. I had spent my entire 22 years being the 'skinny girl.' Now what? I didn't know how to diet or lose weight. I grew up eating 20 piece chicken mcnuggets and barely breaking 100lbs. This is when reality sets in and I start wearing my FAT pants.  
Fast forward a little bit... Alan gets out of the military and we move back home to Florence, KY. My 28 year old sister has been diagnosed with a terminal brain disease, Fronto Temporal Dementia. I start working full-time as a hairstylist (Got my license while in N.C.). I continue to fight my weight and get down to the high 150's. Life goes on for a while at a pretty 'normal' pace. I find am spending every free second I have with my sister. I am raising Bailey. I am working full-time. And oh yeah, I have gone back to school full-time to finish my degree. My husband? he's around here somewhere. So the weight starts creeping back on, little by little. Next thing I know, I'm pregnant... again. This was not planned. I was on the pill. We were considering not having anymore children, given my first experience. Oh well! God had other plans for us. I feared for my life that I was going to get so fat that I would be one of those people on TV that needed a crane to take me to the hospital. Now, this may be a little melodramatic, but let's not forget the weight I was used to.

On October 27, 2009 my sister died. Hardest thing I've gone through to date. Couldn't have cared less about myself at that time. I spent the winter months getting more and more pregnant and longing more and more to have my sister back. Only one of those things actually happened. On March 26, 2010 I gave birth, via C-section, to my beautiful Ave Charlize. I left the hospital weighing a svelt 190lbs. Once cleared at my 8-week OB/GYN visit I started working out with a trainer immediately! I was working my ass off, literally. I was down to 163lbs. Then things started to change. I stopped losing weight. I was working harder than most people, eating a meticulous diet, and the weight was creeping back on. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! It was also at this point that I realized I was having strange pains throughout my body on a regular basis and I was suffering from chronic headaches. I dealt with all of this for a while. Pretending it wasn't there and waiting for it to go away. It didn't. I went to the doctor... over and over and over again for many months. Tests were run, blood was taken, questions were asked. FINALLY, a diagnosis. 1)my thyroid doesn't function. period. 2)i have aggressive rheumatoid arthritis. 3)i have fibromyalgia resulting from the arthritis. 4)i'm 27 years old and i'm screwed.

This brings me to today. Today I wear the following pants: wife, working mom, student, fat, and sick. On any given day, I can wear any or all of my pants. Because of my diseases I take a fun cocktail of medications. My favorite has been nicknamed "the death drug." I take this one on Saturdays only. It consists of 6 pills in one setting. It is a low-dose chemotherapy. It blows. It is because of this drug that I can no longer drink alcohol- at all- ever- period. I would have preferred to lose my right arm. I want my wine back!!! Anyway, over the course of the past few months I have packed on more pounds. I am now a very chubby, gulp, 190something pounds. Welp, there it is. 

It is my mission, through this blog, to share this hilarious thing I call my life. I'm going to give it all to you. My struggles with weight and weight loss. My struggles with the diseases. My drama at work. My efforts to finish my degree. The hilarious antics of my kids. EVERYTHING! I hope to offer others support and laughter. I mean, there's no point being depressed about it. Might as well get up, put on my fat pants, and get on with life!  Sorry to bog you down with such a HUGE first entry. I will try to keep the rest of them short and sweet... try...